I am back with another breakdown of Love is Blind Season 4. This season is wild, and honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this good. Check out my other reviews on the show here. The turn of events from Irina becoming the villain to Jackie is a bit surprising. There is a major lesson to be learned about Jackie and Marshall. I have had Jackies as clients. I have dated Jackies, and I have had Jackies as friends. Even me myself have been Marshall. What Jackie did to Marshall is way more common than many women believe. Watch this clip to see what Jackie did. This post could not have broke this down any better than this:
Can you see the narcissism in Jackie? Earlier in this season we were all on Irina about Zack, and she did Zack wrong, but what Jackie has done makes Irina look like a saint. She is an example of how hurt people hurt people and shows why some men known as incels breed such disdain for women. This is a classic experience of how many men feel nice guys finish last. This episode dropped on Friday, and it is Saturday and there are many reaction videos. In many of the videos are the “surprise” that Jackie did this.
Love is Blind Season 4: This Should Be No Surprise
Now I know you are thinking, why isn’t this a surprise? Glad you asked. Jackies are everywhere! I mean EVERYWHERE. I wish I could say they were not, and this behavior isn’t common but it is. Jackie has a lot of unresolved trauma. This is something we first saw in her outbursts and tantrums that she threw shutting Marshall out. In those, she made certain comments that showed resentment towards Marshall because he was not the man she wanted.
She used comments such as he’s too sweet, soft, and wasn’t man enough, and he needed to boss up. She wanted Marshall to show her the toxicity that she was used to, next she wanted him to be more sexually aggressive. This is a common request from the Jackies out here, and then if you are not they sometimes will seek that attention elsewhere.
She said a few times, I just want you to love me. If y’all don’t get anything out of reading this, and again, I want y’all to get it all, get what I am about to say clearly. Pay close attention to people who put a huge emphasis on being loved, when it is clear that they are not the most lovable people. In my book, I have a section asking if you are lovable. Go get it here.
Just Love Me
You absolutely cannot put so much pressure on being loved and how you want to be loved when you are difficult to love. There will be some who disagree with you but make sure you know the person that is disagreeing with you because they just are the person I am talking about. These people want you to tolerate and endure a lot of hurt and pain just to love them and want you to believe their distorted view of love is how you should accept love from them. This is dangerous.
Hurt and broken people can be some of the most difficult people to love. It is tough to say, but it is true. Many broken people have a distorted view of what love is to them. Everyone does not experience the same kind of love, so therefore love does not look the same to them. If you go back into the pods with Jackie and Marshall, she talks about her past and how broken it was.
Guys like Marshall want to heal that pain. They want to show these types of women something different, thinking that they will heal them. Some women genuinely believe these men will do so, and when those men fail to do so, it’s a wrap. Usually, the man comes out damaged after this. This is the work of a therapist fellas, not her man. You are not going to cure or fix her.
Back to What They are Used To
Jackie did as many do, and went back to what she is used to, and then they experience the same things that they say they no longer want to experience. The white knight riding in on his white horse isn’t going to change this thought process. This will take a lot of internal work to get out of this unhealthy pattern.
She thinks riding off into the sunset with Josh is going to make her feel better because it is a familiar feeling, and as humans, we love familiarity, even if it is toxic. Ladies, do not be Jackie. Guys, be Marshall, but to the right woman. To the woman that appreciates your emotional intelligence and maturity. Be Marshall to the woman who loves and appreciates that while you are looking out for yourself, you are still there trying to love her when she isn’t the easiest to love.
Lastly, one thing Marshall said, and this is common among the Jackies is the lack of affection that she accused Marshall of not being more aggressive with and showing her. Women by nature are affectionate beings. Men are not. Men and women show love differently. Marshall showed her the love she needed, not the love she wanted. The love you want isn’t always the love you need. It takes a lot of growth to realize this. The men set the tone of the relationship, no matter what if women do not follow, nothing else matters. It will fail. Let’s work harder to be better people to be better partners.