Dating: It’s Time to Dead the Coffee Date
I was having a conversation today and we were talking about coffee dates. Within the last couple of years, the coffee date has become the preferred way by some to take a low-risk approach to meet someone for the first time. Even myself, when I was actively seeking a relationship, I loved the coffee dates. One of the reasons I loved the coffee dates because after going on so many dates that didn’t lead to anything, I realized I was wasting a ton of money. I felt like the ROI was terrible, and was wasting hours on dates that were dead-end. Enter, the coffee dates.
I was like, ok yea spending $10-$15 and a lot less time was a better investment than $100 dates that were on the road to nowhere. I remember when I first started doing this women scoffed at the idea, now many women embrace them. I have now decided to no longer go on coffee dates. Why the change of heart? Don’t worry, we are getting there. Let’s review some of the pros and cons before we go into why I stopped.
PROS:
- Casual AF
- You can bail
- Very public
- Cheap — Well as long as she doesn’t order the Cinnamon Caramel Vanilla Mocha Latte with 10 shots of espresso.
- Option to continue the date
- Can be less stressful and pressured discussion
CONS:
- Can feel like a job interview
- Hard to gauge physical attraction during a job interview
- Your date could bail
- Possibly too much surface conversation
- Too short if no plans after
- Might not like coffee? If she shows up and drinks water (she for the streets)
Here is why I stopped. I stopped treating dating as a numbers game. I got burned out spending so much time getting to know someone and going out on these early dates and most of them led to me opting out of continuing the date. Over the years as I learned women to the level that I know them today, I realized I NO longer NEEDED a woman. I spent so much time dating to fulfill a perceived need instead of a want. I realized I am now going to go on dates with women I really WANT to meet.
If a woman has all the boxes checked and the vibe is so good I need to confirm it in person. I stopped going on so many dates and that changed my life. Going on coffee dates actually had me going on MORE dates than going on regular dates. I ended up just shooting myself in the foot.
It’s too easy to fall into serial dating, and therefore not really gaining anything from going on coffee dates but time and money.
It’s time to date more strategically. The coffee date died here. RIP Starbucks. I will be getting my PSL by my damn self.
